No Community is Safe

One school day in the fall of 2015, I had forgotten my phone at home while out running a few errands. At first, it felt quite freeing. Then I remembered that my father-in-law was taking my brother-in-law to a doctor’s appointment in the city, something I usually did. My only worry was that he was calling me with a question. When I got home, I grabbed my phone off the kitchen counter, hoping I had not missed a call or text from him.

What I saw were many texts and voicemails from my high school daughter, her sister at college, my husband, and many friends. I immediately panicked. This was not normal. While I was enjoying my phone free morning, there had been a hard lockdown at the high school. My younger daughter, Claire, had been at lunch and was herded into the closest secure location, an auditorium. While crouching between auditorium seats, she tried to reach me. I heard her first voicemail saying there was a kid with a gun in the school (which was the rumor circulating as the kids texted from different parts of the school), where she was and that she loved me. My stomach sank and fear gripped me. I tried to piece together what had happened by simultaneously calling Claire and scanning Facebook, my emails, and texts. Claire was safe in her classroom; the incident was over, and everyone was safe. Claire had gotten a hold of Colleen at college, who kept her calm during most of the incident. In hindsight that was probably better than me. I’m not sure I would have been as calm and convinced that I would have gotten into my car and headed straight toward the high school. Not the best idea but instinctive.

It turned out that a troubled boy had brought a gun to school. He had no intention of harming anyone and the gun had no ammunition. A teacher had seen the gun on him and alerted the school resource officer. As soon as the lockdown was called, the student turned himself in. The entire situation lasted about 45 minutes. Everyone did the right thing – the teachers, the school, the police, the kids. By the time I talked to Claire, she was back in a classroom processing the events with teachers and classmates. But the stories of kids barricading classrooms, hiding in the gym bleachers, and running from the campus stick with me to this day.

All these thoughts and feelings come back to me whenever I hear of a mass shooting, especially a school shooting. Even the most prepared schools are not immune from a crazy or determined gunman armed with an assault rifle intended for use on a battlefield. It pains me to think of all the potential educational dollars allocated toward ‘hardening’ our schools due to these school shootings.

A few years later, Claire was a junior in high school when the Parkland shooting occurred. Her experience in 2015 informed her reaction that February. She and some friends organized their school walk-out. Working with the principal and the village leadership, they held a successful walk-out and rally. She took her fear and sadness and turned it into action. I am so proud of her.

How sad that our society has decided that it is more important to teach this generation of students to fear the random shooter rather than ban the most used mass shooting tool. Our kids see the immorality of that decision and, I hope, will be the force that bends us toward a more moral solution.