I read Detransition Baby at the recommendation of a friend in my book club. A few of us read it in conjunction with the book we were discussing, Becoming Nicole by Amy Ellis Nutt. Becoming Nicole tells the true story of a family whose son identifies as a girl and begins transitioning in his early teens. It is a moving story of not just Nicole’s experience but the family’s experience, too.
Detransition Baby is a novel, the story of three people who decide to try to forge a unique family. Secretly dating at work, Ames and Katrina are becoming more serious and committed when Katrina becomes pregnant. This is a shock because Ames thought he was sterile. While considering her whether to have the baby or get an abortion, Katrina tells Ames that she can’t do motherhood with him being an active father. But Ames has been keeping a secret from her. Until a few years ago, Ames had been Amy, a trans women. Ames detransitioned after a traumatic incident.
“I got sick of living as trans…I am trans but I don’t need to do trans.”, Ames explains to Katrina.
Unsure of his ability be a father, Ames reconnects with his former partner, Reese. Reese is a trans women who has desperately wanted to be a mother her whole life. She is convinced that adoption is out of the question for a trans woman, let alone a trans woman couple. But Ames suggests another option to Katrina and Reese: the three of them raise the child together.
Detransition Baby explores the idea of how and if Katrina, Ames, and Reese can make this unique family work. Each person brings their own set of personal baggage and must work through their role in this queer relationship. Katrina and Ames want to make their romantic relationship work. Katrine and Reese each want to be mothers. Reese needs to get to know Ames as a man. Clearly, the situation is very complicated.
Torrey Peters, a trans woman, is a brilliant writer who doesn’t shy away from difficult topics. The fact that trans women are often targets of violence. The desire for trans men and women to become parents. The misperceptions and assumptions that cis people make about trans people. Some readers who aren’t comfortable reading about sex scenes might get uncomfortable, however, they aren’t gratuitous and don’t overshadow the arc of the story. She packs a lot into a 340-page novel.
Reese and Amy’s story of transitioning (and detransitioning in Ames’ case) helped me better understand not only why people choose to transition but also what that process entails – physically and emotionally. Peters introducing us to Reese and Amy’s friends who come from all walks of life and whose trans experiences are all different.
While the story involves and revolves around the trans experience, anyone interested in a unique story with interesting, complex characters will enjoy Detransition Baby. I highly recommend it.
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