Last night I took part in an online program in our community called Courageous Conversations. The monthly program is in its second year. The first year started by teaching the group (about 100-150 of us) critical skills to engage in difficult conversations: listening, courage, mindfulness, and curiosity. Armed with those skills, the program tackled difficult topics such as race and prejudice.
The post-election discussion last night was focused on reimagining civic trust – healing after a divisive election season. (That apparently isn’t quite over yet!) Eric Liu, co-founder of Citizen University, was the guest speaker. He talked about the need to get past our fears and find ways to dialogue as a community and country. I wish I had taken better notes! Citizen’s University offers Civic Saturdays which sound amazing. A quick review of the Citizen University website led me to his book of Civic Sermons. Which of course I bought. So watch this space for a review after I read it.
What really got me thinking was the finally discussion questions of the evening: What is the best thing about being an American and are we living that out in reality? Why aren’t we there/how can we get there?
“We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility…”
What immediately jumped into my mind was the phrase “in order to form a more perfect union” from the Preamble to the Constitution (thank you Schoolhouse Rock for teaching me the Preamble through song). I interpret the phrase “more perfect” to indicate the need to continually improve the people and government of the United States towards the goal of a perfection. People aren’t perfect, business & organizations aren’t perfect and neither are governments. Our system of amendments and ability to change laws is an example of ‘more perfect’. I believe our capability to work towards a ‘more perfect union’ is the best part of America. It signals the ability learn, grow, stay curious, evolve and change.
Have we reached that reality – that ‘more perfect union’? Of course not! Income and wealth have grown much faster for the top 90% of Americans compared to the middle and lower income levels. We have huge race issues that divide our country: income/wealth disparities, lack of equal access to job opportunities and education, safety and policing issues and a discriminatory criminal justice system. Our country is divided over politics to the point where friends & family can’t talk to each other about it, and some of our leaders make their decisions based on politics rather than working with each other to make policy for our county. (Democrats and Republicans, both) These are just a few examples of the work the U.S. needs to do.
So how do we move closer to the “more perfect union”? I think the most important issue to tackle is the division or polarization in our country. That is hard because I think one of the biggest drivers behind that is fear: fear of losing an election, fear of losing a job to new technology, fear of being thrown off my health care plan (or fear of losing choices if health care becomes more standardized), so much fear. How do we overcome fear? I think we do that by being curious, getting to know the things or people that we fear. Having courageous conversations with people who think differently than me – listening and asking questions to understand.
In 2016, I talked with a friend about her choice for president and we had a great conversation – both of us asking questions of the other with the intent to understand, not change the other’s opinion. Rather than judge her, I understood what drove her decision. I have ventured into these conversations a few more times since then and I am making it a goal to do it more often.
On a national, governmental level? I am much less equipped to answer that question. So far, President-elect Biden has said he wants to work with Republicans to solve some of these problems. That means compromise on both sides – sacrificing some difficult ideas for the betterment of the whole. Can they do that? Can we? Let’s hope so – we have a lot of work towards that goal of a “more perfect union.”
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